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Pain and Power

by Georgia English

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1.
Lately I, I’ve been starring in a play Not sure which moment to break Waiting for the house lights to shine on My mind sits frozen in the space Between what I mean and what I say Until its melted and gone And I wonder do you see me? I mean see me for real And I wonder do you believe me? Am I convincing in my role? Do I shine with Hollywood gold? Do my lines sound like my own? Every night, I’m rehearsing for the stage Committed to my trade Until the sun comes up And I wonder do you see me? I mean see me for real And I wonder do you believe me? Am I convincing in my role? Do I shine with Hollywood gold? Do my lines - sound like my own? Lately I, I’ve been starring in a play Not sure which moment to break Waiting for the house lights to come on
2.
Houseplant 02:18
I bought myself a new houseplant today I needed something to take care of A living creature in desperate pain That isn’t too expensive Picked the saddest one I could find At the checkout line And I knew that it would die if I didn’t bring it home So you bet I brought it home Hey, you what’s it like to be free? Hey, you what’s it like to finally feel the breeze? I know that you don’t give a shit about me But I’m the one who saved your life And I’d do it again Woke up this morning and Turned on the news This channel loves itself a dictator Choked down some Prozac, gotta take it with food Or else you might get sick later Go back to watching democracy Turn more and more rigor-mortissey I wanna drink but I can’t Hey, you know what time it is? It’s time to water the plant Hey, you what’s it like to be free? Hey, you what’s it like to finally feel the breeze? I know that you don’t give a shit about me But I’m the one who saved your life Yes, I’m the one who saved your life And I’d do it again
3.
America 03:31
America, Apple Pie Cut-off blue jeans, 4th of July Songs about freedom Songs about God Football season Senior prom America Who could ask for more You can buy your groceries And your gun at the same store You can raise your children On the bible and chic-fil-a You can teach them suffering And how to look away America, So free Free as a child In a cage can be Our own American Jesus Redefining sin God bless America The country that always wins
4.
If I could do anything I‘d learn how to forgive Hold your name in my hand And surrender it to the wind If I could be anyone I would be a child again And I would not be afraid / this time Of the sunlight against my skin Ooooh Cause I long to be one of the people I long to be one of the people I long to be one of the people If I could be anywhere I’d be by my lover’s side When he tells me that I’m worthy I’d believe him every time And I would find the strength To give myself a brand new start And every stranger that I meet I could love with my whole heart Ooooh Cause I long to be one of the people I long to be one of the people I long to be one of the people If I could do anything I’d learn how to forget Hold your name in my hand Surrender it to the wind
5.
Fourteen 03:10
Today I feel fourteen years old again Kinda want to hang out with my friends But I’m too sad and scared of myself And what might fall out of my mouth Today the world- is moving so fast And I’m just trying to pass this class And grow up to be a half decent person But my ears are ringing, my skin is burning I am so afraid That I just don’t have what it takes To be somebody With something to give Some days it takes so much work just to live Today I woke up and I got stoned Cancelled some plans and I cried alone And memories flooded through my head ‘Til I couldn’t stand it and went back to bed And I thought about who I thought I’d be by-now The kind of person who could say the right thing at the right time to the right person Yeah, all I want to do is save the world I so afraid I just don’t have what it takes to be somebody with something to give Some days it takes so much work just to live I want to be somebody with something to give Some days it takes so much work just to live
6.
The other day I was at the end of my rope So I laid down in the rain and I started to hope For something wild to pull me away Drag me into the woods and erase my name And I laid frozen and I cried-alone For a couple of hours before I picked up the phone My voice was a stranger It was shaking It was nothing to depend on I wept like a baby Paul’s voice came in so sweet He’s got a few decades on me So he calls me kiddo And he sounds like the truth And sometimes he chuckles At what’s left of my youth And he said you oughta look up at the stars sometime Imagine beyond our visible moon In all this light drenched endlessness There’s a circle here carved out for messed up you So I choked on memories and he caught each one And he gave me the space to come completely undone Before he asked me gently If I’ve had time to play If I’ve had time to sing Time to notice the rain You oughta look up at the stars sometime Imagine beyond our visible moon In all this light drenched endlessness There’s a circle here carved out for messed up you Messed up you
7.
I used to be an archeologist In places like these I used to dig my shovel down deep Towards the land of the unredeemed I used to be curious About what could be unearthed What shadows were hiding from me Down here in the underworld But you’ve only got three choices once you find yourself in hell You can call it a work of art Say you painted it yourself You can call upon a mystic, whatever good book’s on your shelf Or you can lie with the flames Let the smoke surround your brain Til you can’t ignore the pain anymore and melt I have been graffiti Just waiting for myself to dry Yeah and I’ve met jesus right there in the light of a junky’s eye And I’ve been forgiven Tried meditation and ketamine Yeah, I’ll try anything once To feel something dissolve in me But you’ve only got three choices once you find yourself in hell You can call it a work of art Say you painted it yourself You can call upon a mystic, whatever good book’s on your shelf Or you can lie with the flames Let the smoke surround your brain Til you can’t ignore the pain anymore and melt This world’s been holding on to an airplane oxygen mask Lately it feels like every breath she takes could be her last Does it hurt you to bear witness? It sure as hell hurts me Watching the shame inside ourselves Play back to us on TV
8.
Who 02:49
Ooh Ooh Ooh They-say-this-country’s never been more divided. We all know that’s not true Reminiscing ‘bout days united Don’t we all know who they’re talking ‘bout We don’t see color anymore White Jesus loves you if you’re green or blue But when the president screams about thugs don’t we Don’t we all know who he’s talking about Ooh Ooh Ooh Babies boarded up along the border Better change the channel, better call it fake news When we preach “save the children” Don’t we all know who we’re not talking ‘bout Ooh Ooh Ooh This country’s never been more shattered We all know that’s not true When we scream “all lives matter” Don’t we all know who we’re talking ‘bout Well this country’s been bloated with the sickness Brought up on Twinkies by the great white race Could it be a broken system Or did we design it this way? Ooh Ooh Ooh
9.
You wake up early in the morning A heaviness under your eyes The TV says it’s a new decade And you are older now Then you were last night But you still feel like a baby Velvet feet on a hardwood floor Leaning into what can’t hold you The way you thought it could Before Where, Where, Where are you now? Can you touch the breeze? Do you see the sunlight Shining through the leaves? Can you feel the earth breathing Slow beneath your feet? Memories wrap you like a blanket Take a hit and feel them fade Watch them lighting into sepia Sucked in by Dissipitate Where, Where, Where are you now? Can you touch the breeze? Do you see the sunlight Shining through the leaves? Can you feel the earth breathing Slow beneath your feet? Do you know your voice? Can you hear your grief? Can you smell the flowers Bloom on your childhood street? Can you taste the tears Rolling down your cheek?
10.
Protection’s not protection when it’s from the truth You don’t owe redemption when we’re talking about abuse You get to fucking cry as long as you need to You get to get fucking high on whatever gets you through Whatever it takes Whatever it takes Whatever it takes To survive You who took the beatings You who took the blame You who changed the story just to take control of shame You get to fucking hide as long as you feel like it You get to fucking wish you could die And when you’re ready you get to heal from it Whatever it takes Whatever it takes Whatever it takes To survive He is not your heartbeat He is not your skin You are not imprisoned by this body you live in Feel the fucking rain coming down like a shower Feel your fucking pain fell your fucking power Whatever it takes Whatever it takes Whatever it takes To survive Whatever it takes Whatever it takes Whatever it takes To survive
11.
Maybe Me 02:50
Maybe here, maybe me I can learn again to breathe (Oh how to breathe) In the space in between Maybe here, maybe now Maybe me Maybe here, maybe me I can stand like a September tree (September tree) Surrender all, the choking leaves Maybe here, maybe now Maybe me Maybe here, maybe me I can plant my tired feet (My tired feet) And learn to sway, through winter’s breeze Maybe here, maybe now Maybe me Maybe here, maybe me I will hear a song so sweet (A song so sweet) That I’ll find faith, in our shared humanity Maybe here, maybe now Maybe me Maybe here, maybe now Maybe
12.
Springtime in the suburbs means New coffee drinks Pink Walmart shelves And all the other Caucasians Taking pictures of their babies wearing Different shades of pastel The sun’s coming out I’m still cold All things are new I feel so old Wish I could fall like a spring rain Into the earth Rise up again Driving down the highway Mountains along the skyway Are a bright shade of green Dogwoods exploding Tulips unfolding A billboard telling me to get clean The sun’s coming out I’m still cold All things are new I feel so old Wish I could fall like a spring rain Into the earth Rise up again Into the earth Rise up again In sweet abandoned places Wildflowers learn what faith is Breaking through a sidewalk crack They trust in the earth And believe in their worth And remind me of all that I lack The sun’s coming out I’m still cold All things are new I feel so old Wish I could fall like a spring rain Into the earth Rise up again
13.
Somebody called the cops again On the man sleeping on the bench The guy who hides his tired head Under a blanket on main street A woman screamed into her phone And she wept for all the children Who would soon be walking home And see this filthy man sleeping But it was just A statue of jesus Worn down From a long, hard day Of fighting injustice And human judgement Thank heavens y’all Have a blessed day Somebody called the cops again On the man sleeping on the bench He looked suspicious just lying there And they could tell he was from somewhere else He got here illegally He’s on the run from something I’m not racist but he’s up to no good He’ll hook our kids on heroin But it was just A statue of jesus Worn down From a long, hard day Of fighting injustice And human judgement Thank heavens y’all Have a blessed day Somebody called the cops again And before they could return An American hero jumped out from the crowd Swinging a 9mm He said you better go back to wherever you came from To some shit-hole far away land Popped off his pistol and it ricocheted Into a Chic-fil-A trash can Cause it was just A statue of jesus Worn down From a long, hard day Of fighting injustice And human judgement Thank heavens y’all Have a blessed day, blessed day, blessed day, blessed day
14.
You with the healing scar It feels like the line Between you and the world Is merely an ocean shore Shifting through the sand Uncovering what you are You deserve The power you possess The power you possess You deserve The power you possess You with the arctic words What sat frozen in your throat now is melting away Can you feel the waves Taking form Tearing down the docks Tattooed by the stars? You deserve The power you possess The power you possess You deserve The power you possess You who walked for miles All you have surrendered now Is blooming Into sunflowers with halos of fire Exploding in the valleys Of each footstep left behind You deserve The power you possess The power you possess You deserve The power you possess

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released July 30, 2021

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Georgia English Nashville, Tennessee

Georgia English is a songwriter and performer residing in Nashville, TN. Her unique songwriting voice blends the tangled roots of Americana music with a contemporary female perspective, flourishing in the space between humor and melancholy.









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